I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
