feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
