Screwed.edu
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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