Umm I'm too high to move.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
