I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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