Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
