and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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