at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
