1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
