Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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