i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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