Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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