i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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