Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize