Your tits are I can't wait for
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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