people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
