just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You did what with his pubic hair?
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