I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
