We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
