ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
