I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
