Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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