I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
