This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
