'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
