I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
