You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
