thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
