In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
