Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
