We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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