just come out here and I will go home with you...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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