I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
