like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize