He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
