so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
