i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
smell my finger.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
