That's intense
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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