idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize