It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
