I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
even my farts smell like vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize