I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
