You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize