I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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