So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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