All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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