mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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