My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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