did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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