A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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