If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
