ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
