They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
