I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
