I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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