Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
