i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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