you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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