Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize