The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
